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Honor your father and mother

One of the most simplest, yet hardest things to do…

A Friend of God

John 15:15
…But I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you

I don’t know why but this idea of being God’s friend really hit me today…
It’s just such a word of encouragement to the things I’ve been doing with God these past few weeks. 

When you realize that you really are a friend of God, you definitely should have a desire to just be with Him and hang out with Him. As I was praying, He gave me a picture of my friends and the many times I hung out with in fellowship. So much laughter :] so much happiness :] so much love :] And I realized that that’s what God wants to do with us. He wants to just hang out with us. And man have I had a desire to hangout with Him these past few weeks. As you hang out with your friends you start to get influenced by them, don’t you think? Their thoughts, their beliefs, their actions, their behaviors. They all influence you the more you hang out with them.

I want to learn more about my friend, God. I want to be more like Him. I want to be a living testament of my friend Jesus Christ. All His actions/behaviors, I want to cultivate in my life. And I pray this over my life all the time, but what way is there to get influenced and transformed to be a like a person other than to just plainly hang out with that person? 
This is why I do Intimacy. It establishes a time for me to just be with Jesus, worship Him, dance with Him, pray/talk/converse with Him. I loveeee hanging out with my friend Jesus because He gives me peace and comfort. He fills me with His love. Just as I love hanging out with Tyler, Edwin, Susie, and alllllll my other friends (tyj for all these awesome friends you give me btw ^^), I loooooooove to hang out with Jesus. And as I commit to hanging out with Him more consistently, I’m excited to see what He has in store for me to shape me to be more like Him.

Thank you God for calling me you friend. For tearing the veil that I may have an INTIMATE relationship with you and just BE with you. As a friend, you want to pour all your thoughts and secrets into me and the rest of humanity here on earth! God i am so intently listening, because your wisdom, your thoughts, your ideas are so true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise :] (Philippians 4:8)

I encourage all of you to just BE with Him. Establish a time to just be in His presence, and if you intentionally do seek Him. He WILL appear. He will show up in your life in such a powerful way. I can’t beginnnnn to describe how muchhhhhhhhh He just wants to hang out and be with you.

Feeling like everybody’s against me these days…

God, if I’m doing something wrong just let me know please.

Psalms 139:23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!

There is an AWESOME Father who wants to love you and bring you into His family. And the best thing… YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, just BELIEVE. Believe that He died for your sins and brought freedom for you after raising up from the dead. He wants you to be His hands and feet for this world. He wants to release ever resource of heaven through you! He wants to empower you as His son/daughter. Think no less of yourself :) He is the author, perfector, and FINISHER of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)!! AWESOMENESSSS

God…. here we go again…

So many decisions to make for the near future and I don’t know which is way is the right way you want me to go. 
I know that you will honor whatever decision I make, but sometimes I just want YOU to tell me what to do…

1) To go to 21 Project or not… Circuit Riders was amazing and the fact that they’re having something related to it from July 12 to August 2… I really want to go. To get equipped. To get trained. To break my passivity and fear. To gain leadership. To be an impact for this city, this country, the nations. But will my parents even let me? I know they want me to work for the summer to save money for tuition… but if I do this conference… boom there goes my summer… And I JUST started working at Coffeehaus like literally today… would my boss even let me go out for 2.5 weeks? Oh AND also if i do go to 21 then i wont be able to do Jgen… 

2) Student Ministries Internship at Community Fellowship Church. This looks like such an awesome opportunity… I get discipled by leaders there and I get to disciple jr.highers and high schoolers, counsel over them, and be a leader over them. AND I’ll be getting paid for doing this?! $5000 per year??? That could definitely help with tuition… But so much commitment… I need to be committed to the program for 2 years and I would have to regularly start attending that church during the internship. Meaning I can’t come to Newlife. No more seeing my friends every sunday… No more seeing my pastor… no more seeing her… So much sacrifice… And with this internship would I even have the time to study well during school? I mean I need to do well in school too… and do research for grad school, and study for GRE’s…  jlkjf;dalflajl;ak but the salary could definitely help with my tuition… AND I’m getting discipled as well… AND I get to disciple teenagers… 
And if I do decide to do this internship… I’m pretty sure I’ll be missing out on Newlife. India mission trip I really wanted to go… I’m pretty sure Community Fellowship is not charismatic either… 

But my dad even said he didn’t want me to go to Newlife during my 2 years at Wheaton. He wanted me to explore and find a different church for undergrad instead of being in my comfort zone with Newlife. I guess that internship would satisfy what he wants me to do.. plus it would help him with paying for my tuition… but… would I be able to do it? I don’t even know if it’s wise to do it when I have so many things to do at Wheaton as well probably…

What the freak… why is life so hard and frustrating and confusing. Goddddddddddddd I need your love and peace please.

Everything’s confusing again… >.< Girls are confusing, life is confusing, school is confusing, jlj;fje;a head spinning head spinning head spinning. 

take me into your secret place God. I just want to be with you and just stay there. just stay there.

Once you encounter God’s love:


Stay With Me

What can explain this love
This love that I have for you
My heart yearns for your Spirit

Words can’t explain my love for you
I don’t want to leave this place.
I don’t want to leave your presence, God.

Take me in to your throne already
That I may be with you
Just be with you forever

Stay here with me 
Stay with me God
Let us dance all night long
I’m in love with you, Lord

Stay here with me
Stay with me God
Let us dance all night long
I’m in love with you, Jesus

Here in this secret place. 
It’s all I want.
It’s all I need.
All I desire is You!

Never leave me Jesus.
Stay here with me
Stay with me God
I want to play and dance with you all night long.
I’m in love with you, Father.

I don’t want you to ever leave my side.
I don’t want to ever lose you.

God you are just wrecking me, owning me, wrecking me, owning me.

Originality is Dead. on We Heart It.

God I don’t want to leave…. I really don’t…

Why can’t this be everyday….